


To See

by LozaMoza



Series: Moments [15]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Healing, Love Confessions, One Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Soft Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, because Geralt and Yennefer, but thats ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26050342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LozaMoza/pseuds/LozaMoza
Summary: What if Geralt wasn't such an idiot and came to Yennefer after Sodden?Or, how the story COULD have gone had a certain witcher not been such a damn fool ;)
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Moments [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1806943
Comments: 37
Kudos: 60





	To See

**Author's Note:**

> Playing fast and loose with canon here, that's true, but I've already told this story in a more canonical way in For the Love of Canon (in the chapter Linden Trees), so it was fun to explore a happier outcome then "Geralt just ignored Yennefer for 3 years". Hope you enjoy!

Yennefer turned over in the small bed she had been trying, and ultimately failing, to fall asleep in. It was all she did now, it was all she could do. Lay in this damned bed and think.

It had been nearly 5 months since she’d seen the cerulean blue of the sky. She’d missed the vibrant red of the dahlias that grew in the spring gardens, the greenish-purple iridescence of wings of the black birds that pestered the pupils of Aretuza for crumbs from their lunches. Those birds had been there for generations; Yennefer remembered fighting off one particularly bold creature in her own school days. Black Ben, the girls had nicknamed him. Her back had been crooked then.

But she had had her eyes.

The irony now, to be back in this school, converted to a place of convalescence for the victims - heroes - of Sodden. As a pupil here she had dreamed of a life without her crooked spine, the vile hump that made her parents despise her; made her despise herself. All the problems in her life had been caused by that damnable hump. Without it, things would be perfect;  _ she _ would be perfect. As a pupil, she had never been more certain about anything in her life.

Oh, the naivety of youth. 

Now, as she lay in her bed, back ramrod straight, she no longer cared about perfection. Nearly a century of living had taught her the cold and hard-learned truth that perfection is an illusion that is never achieved. There are only moments in a life: beautiful and ugly, filled with love or filled with hate, meaningful or meaningless. There is no perfect.

_...His eyes, flecked with gold, the corners crinkling just slightly as they fought to stare at her a moment longer before sleep claimed them… _

Maybe, once, she had something close to perfect, but that was lost to her now. Just like her eyes.

She rolled over again, fighting back the tears she refused to shed and cursing herself for allowing thoughts of him to invade her mind yet again. She may be blind and alone, but she refused to add pathetic to the mix as well.

*******

She heard Tissaia opening the door to her room. She could easily pick out her footsteps, careful and purposefully-placed, and knew the sound of her rearranging items on the tabletops. 

“Just leave them, rectoress, it doesn’t matter,” she groaned. The sun was warming her face through the window near her bed; it must have been close to evening. She felt her skin greedily drink in its warmth, and it angered her even more. 

“I would think in your current state you would appreciate a strict adherence to the proper placement of items,” Tissaia huffed in response.

“You assume incorrectly,” Yennefer snarked back. She was in no mood for her old rectoress’ obsessive organization. She couldn’t see the fucking tabletops anyway. Why did it matter? What did any of this fucking matter?

“You do realize it is only you and your obstinance to not believe in your own healing that has left you in this continued state of blindness. Your eyes have recovered completely, Yennefer, but they do not work because you do not want them to. As per usual, you alone are the obstacle to your well-being.”

Yennefer groaned. “Care to offer any other pearls of wisdom or life lessons, Rectoress? If so, please, I’d rather have you straighten the counters.”

“I did not come to argue with you, Yennefer, though it’s quite obvious you are still as stubborn and unruly as the day you came here. Rather, you have a visitor waiting outside, so do try to sit up straight and be somewhat presentable.”

_ Triss.  _ The younger sorceress had been trying to see her daily since her burns had healed enough to leave her room, but Yennefer wanted none of it. She knew these trips were out of guilt. Guilt that Yennefer had been blinded trying to hold Triss up at Sodden, and even more frustratingly for Yennefer, guilt over her seduction of Geralt. 

Yennefer was not interested in placating either.

“Tell her to go. I’ve no interest in seeing her.”

“It is not a ‘her’,” Tissaia replied.

Yennefer heard the heavy footsteps enter the room. His smell came to her next: worn leather, dust from the Path, soot from his campfire. Her mind reeled and she felt such a rush of longing for him she nearly cried out. 

“Yen,” he whispered.

Her lips quivered at the name. “Geralt?” she responded, her voice catching,

“I’ll leave you both,” Tissaia said, and Yennefer could hear the cocky undertone in her response, but at that moment, she no longer cared.

“You came,” she said as soon as she heard the door close. “But how did you…?”

“A letter, from Tissaia. As soon as it arrived, I left for you.” He was silent for a moment. “I would have been here sooner had I known…”

“I didn’t want you to know. To see me like...,” she couldn’t finish the sentence. It was true, she didn’t want him to see her so weak. She was _ never _ weak. Never fallible. How could he look at her the same, seeing her like this? This helpless woman?

She heard him take a step closer. “Do you actually believe that is how I would ever see you? How I  _ could _ ever see you? _ You _ , Yen?”

She let out a sigh. “How would either of us know how the other sees each other? We have never been exactly open with the other, Geralt.”

He took another step to her. “Perhaps it’s time to change that.” She didn’t reply. He took another step towards her. She could feel the warmth of his breath. “I see a woman, as beautiful and strong as she always has been. I see a woman who I've hurt, who’s hurt me - immeasurably - because neither of us could comprehend and accept the feelings we have for the other. I see a woman who, when I’m not by her, the entire fucking world is darker. I see a woman who I love so much she’s part of my very being.” He sat down on the bed beside her. “I see the woman I love, that I have always loved, since that day in Rinde, Yen. I see you.”

She was unable to hold back the tears at this point. She reached her hand out, small and shaking, and he took it in his own. Her skin alighted at the touch of his. How she had missed that worn skin, those thick calluses, rough and inviting, his fingers...she sighed at the memory of them running along her body. He took her hand and placed it on his face. She moved the other there and felt the stubble of a new beard. His cheekbones felt more prominent and she knew the Path had been hard. His lips were as soft and as warm as she remembered, though, and as she traced her thumb along them, he planted a soft kiss on it. 

“The Path has been hard, hasn’t it?”

“It’s better now,” he whispered back.

“Geralt?”

“Hmm?” he was softly kissing the palms of her hands now. 

“I love you,” she said, and the weight of a million lies about her not being deserving of such an emotion fell away, leaving her raw and exposed in his gaze.

He pulled her face to his till their noses were touching. “I know, Yen,” and he kissed her. She fell back allowing his weight to settle over her like a warm blanket, secure and solid. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, her jawline, and she reveled in the feel of his lips. 

She gave into him completely.

*******

She had no idea how much time had passed as they lay together, surrounded by the thrills and sighs of their lovemaking. Time always became fluid when she made love to Geralt, but this time, actually making love to him after they had finally said aloud what they’d known for so long, was something else entirely. She felt a cool breeze ghost over her skin. On a whim, she opened her eyes. As she expected, darkness.

But then…

There, in front of her, as her eyes adjusted to the light, she saw him. She  _ saw _ him. His golden eyes, reflecting the light of the moon, stared back at her. 

She immediately reached to him, her hands confirming what her eyes had seen, and he laughed. “Yen, ouch, what was that for? Why did you poke my eye?”

“I can see you,” she said breathlessly. “I can see you.”

His smile widened and she saw it all: the dimple in his left cheek when he was sublimely happy, the crinkles around his lips when he smiled, the messiness of the hair her own hands had tangled in their intimate moments before. She saw it all, and it overwhelmed her. 

“Come with me,” he whispered. “Come with me to Kaer Morhen. I’m done living this separate life from you. I can’t fucking do it anymore.”

Could she? Could she live with him again? It wouldn’t be easy, of course there would be fights as they made their way together. But could she live without him? She already knew the answer to that.

“Yes,” she replied, and he pulled her in for a long kiss. 

“Good,” he said as they broke apart. “Because there’s someone I want you to meet…”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I made the Witcher be ok with feelings. And man did it feel good! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are so appreciated, and thank you for reading!


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